There is just something about the rain that I love. Maybe it's simply knowing it would be snow if it were 10 degrees colder. I can hear the wind pounding against my house. I can also hear the roar of my heater, which just kicked on. It is almost May but today was a chilly one. But I'm okay with it because a) it's not snowing, and b) tomorrow it's supposed to be in the 60's. And I have a feeling the weekend is going to be beautiful (aren't they always?).
I was a very productive girl today. I completed 1 of 2 ESL classroom observations for my Methods course, finished both employee evaluations, got a kid suspended--probably expelled (he has an IEP, so who knows for sure)--for bringing weed on school property yesterday, and scaled the mountain of paperwork on my desk.
Since Friday I have been in a place of peace. I have felt extra alive lately, burning with a secret. I will tell you, but if you know me IRL, you have to promise to keep it hush hush (especially around Matt...he doesn't like me getting personal on the www). Ok, so here it is...Matt and I have decided we're going to start TTC. That doesn't mean we'll have a baby this time next year. Of course, if all goes well we will. But I do realize things don't always go as planned, so I am prepared for the possibility that it could take months. But it is possibility that keeps me going. I wake up every day, filled with zest for life...a door has been thrust open to a world of possibility that was previously not accessible. It was a world of planning, anticipation, sheer excitement and love that belonged to other people. But now I stand on the threshold of this world and that. I embrace my past and reach for the future with open arms.
I feel like I'm living with a new purpose and mission in life. Every day I grow more excited, knowing (hopefully) in the not-too-distant future, I will be a mother. I knew very quickly after meeting Matt that I wanted to have children with him. But of course the time wasn't right, so we waited. We carved out special time for just us, and I loved every minute of it. But now we're clearing a new path. One that includes more love, new life.
I told Matt how happy this has made me. I joked, "You got your promotion, and now I'm getting mine."
Today it is overcast and raining, but I feel nothing but light.
4 comments:
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! I am so happy for you! I can't wait to hear all about the pregnancy! I loves babies, but am in no way no how ready for one. I just like to enjoy my friends! I am excited!
Thank you, I am excited too! We're not going full force until June or July. For now we're taking the "whatever happens, happens" approach. I still have to go in for a checkup and start taking vitamins and all that stuff. But it is exciting to get the ball rolling!!! It's good to have a blog where I can document these milestones and get support at the same time! :)
You are very welcome!
How exciting!!! I so won't tell anyone IRL either :)
PS I can't run this Thursday because an awesome (insert sarcasm) group meeting for my last group project for the semester. We should seriously try to plan another day to run next week though...maybe Friday? Oh well, text me later and we'll figure it out.
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