Creating Your Best Life

I just read Creating Your Best Life by Caroline Adams Miller and Dr. Michael B. Frisch. I am feeling empowered and want to write my own life list (100 things to do before I die). I’ll probably start smaller, though. I have a lot of life left, so maybe I should aim for 100 things to do before my 30th birthday! I don’t know…I’ll work on it throughout the week and post my ideas here.

Anyway, I took away a lot of practical and/or motivational ideas from the book. Here are the highlights:

Sample “Booster Shots” (fail-safe ways to give yourself a joy jolt - these usually involve helping others, as that is one of the easiest ways to improve your own mood):
-Make breakfast and serving it on a tray to someone you love
-Give a $1 bill wrapped around a Power Bar to every homeless person you meet
-Read a feel-good book
-Try something new and different, just for the heck of it
-Journal
-Express gratitude to someone for something
-Exercise
-Volunteer
-Savor happy memories
-Forgive someone for something
-Apply your strengths
-Meditate

This isn’t necessarily my list. I am going to come up with my own list of five “jolts of joy” to give myself a boost when needed. What are your “booster shots”?

One of my favorite sections of the book explains how to create a “Happiness House.” Take the following categories: Health, Self-esteem, Goals and Values, Spiritual Life, Money, Work, Play, Learning, Creativity, Service, Love, Friends, Children, Relatives, Home, Neighborhood, Community. Take each category and place it on the 1st floor (essential-can‘t live without), 2nd floor (important), 3rd floor (somewhat important), or throw it out. From there list one or two specific actions you can take to work on that area of your life (I.e. Health-Sleep 8 or 9 hours a night).

Something that struck me was the advice to say good-bye to one’s “Lost Possible Self.” When I was in high school, I had a vision of who/where I’d be at the age of 30. As a 27-year-old, I am that person in some ways but am completely different in countless other ways. It is essential to acknowledge when something just isn’t possible anymore, to set new goals and proceed from there. Maybe I’ll flesh out the details of my LPS in a future entry. What does your LPS look like?

Another good tip is to use “If…then” scenarios to ensure success. For instance, if you’ve been dying to ask that cute co-worker out for dinner and a movie, studies have shown that by mentally preparing yourself with a statement like, “When I see Jim at the company holiday party, I’ll ask him out” you increase your chances of success in following through with something. I might prep myself for an anticipated obstacle at work by thinking, “When Jack refuses to work (because he does this at least once a week), I will pull him aside and ask him what’s wrong instead of reprimanding or disciplining him to earn his trust.” So the formula is WHEN I ENCOUNTER ________, I WILL DO _________, SO THAT I CAN ACHIEVE ___________.

The book suggests crafting a mission statement to define your ultimate purpose in life by doing the following:
1. List your most cherished values.
2. Describe how you’d like others to remember you after you’re gone.
3. List words, phrases, images, stories, movies, etc. from history, art, etc. that inspire you.

Your final mission statement should be compelling, action oriented, inspirational, simple, easy to understand. You can have more than one mission statement (you could have one for each “Happiness House” category!). Some examples is “Leave them laughing” or “To make everyone feel a little bit better for having encountered me.”

Some odds and ends from the book that hit me were the suggestions to express gratitude to your spouse once a day, to have a block party, and to get more involved in your local community. My favorite quote from the book: “Ships are safe in a harbor, but that’s not what ships were built for.” -anonymous

Creating Your Best Life has given me a lot to consider - and a lot of material for future blog entries! To anyone who may be reading this, please share your thoughts and answers in response to concepts covered and questions posed.