Ugh

Matt shrank a pair of my favorite jeans. Well, I'm assuming they shrank. I did weigh in at 157 (OMG!!) tonight, but that was after bingeing at the Golden Corral Buffet for dinner. I'm sure the jeans shrank, but I won't deny my weight has something to do with the fact that they won't even button now.

I am sick and tired of looking/feeling like a fatass. I have hit my highest weight ever, and I feel so ashamed of myself. I have been obsessing about my weight for at least a year now, with no results. I keep making bad choices, thinking, "I'll make up for it tomorrow." I am so busy worrying about other things that I keep putting my own health on the backburner. If I keep it up, I'll have put on another 10 lbs by 2010!

So...I do have a plan. I can't keep relying on my diet alone to get fit/lose weight. I NEED to exercise. When I do, it makes me feel better about myself, and it motivates me to eat healthier. I am downloading Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred right now. I plan to buy some 3lb weights from Walmart tomorrow night. I will do that video 3x/week and go to the gym 2x/week. I will drink only water for the next 7 days (I so need to detox from caffeine). I will eat a small breakfast, morning snack, small lunch, and reasonable dinner tomorrow (fruit & yogurt parfait, Fiber One bar, Atkins shake, and ??? for dinner). I will do the video when I get home from Amy's.

Recap...only water to drink through next Sunday. Video Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, gym Tuesday and Thursday. Small meals throughout the day instead of a big breakfast and lunch. A reasonable dinner. Log everything I eat. Oh yeah...and I need to take a laxative Tuesday night to clear things out. I have been so backed up.

I am hoping to be down 2 lbs by next Saturday. I am going to a job fair, and I want to look halfway decent in my new suit. With every successful day under my belt, I will feel more empowered to continue to make healthy choices and do what's best for my body. I have gone from 150 to 138 in about 8 weeks, so I know I can drop this weight.

My beach body should be here just in time for beach weather!!!